#I'm writing them as alloromantic asexual because this is actually just therapy through writing for 29 ^_^
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After the Ritz, pt 2 -- Good Omens snippet
âErm, I can, yâknow⌠go first,â Crowley hedged when Aziraphale didnât say anything. âIf you like.â
He always had been the braver one of the two, Aziraphale thought with a swell of even deeper affection. He nodded, reaching for the bottle of wine, but Crowley took it out of his hand and set it on the table.
âNo,â the demon said softly. âSober. So you know.â
The intensity in both his voice and golden eyes left Aziraphale breathless, and he wordlessly nodded again.
âI love you, Aziraphale. I think⌠I think I always have. Didnât know it, you know, couldnât have, reckoned it wasnât possible for someone like me. It was theâ the Garden. Really didnât expect youâd actually fancy a chat, but thenâŚâ Crowley laughed, a telltale hint of wateriness to it. âYou gave away your sword, what in Someoneâs name, you really were something else, Aziraphale. And I just⌠I donât know how to explain it. I couldnât control it, certainly wasnât looking for it, I just knew there was⌠I donât know, there was a connection.â
âI didnât know what to think,â Aziraphale replied honestly with a foggy smile. He looked up at Crowley through damp lashes, suddenly bashful. âYou werenât at all what I was bracing for. I thought you must be trying to catch me off guard, you know, but then you really did just want to talk. Not an ounce of hostility anywhere to be found. I had to scold myself quite soundly for assuming the worst, when truly you didnât seem malicious, so much as⌠well, I suppose⌠lonely.â
Crowley looked away, a bit of the intensity in his snake eyes fading. âSâpose I was,â he muttered. âAnyway, it took a while for me to figure it out, and even then I knew I couldnât say it. I knew how dangerous it was. I never wanted to put you at risk, angel, didnât want anyone upstairs thinking there was even a chance I might actually⌠you know, corrupt you or anything, or that would have been it for you."
âI suppose at the very least I would have been reassigned,â Aziraphale agreed, not missing the flash of fury in Crowley. He sighed. âVery well, then, yes, thereâs also a chance they might have⌠simply silenced me, if they thought it was too late.â
Something dark and unintelligible spilled from Crowleyâs lips, but he brushed it aside in favor of hesitantly reaching for Aziraphaleâs hand and catching it in his own.
âI couldnât say it before,â he repeated. âBut I can now, and Iâm going to. I love you. Itâs really that simple.â
A warm flush that had nothing to do with the wine burned in Aziraphaleâs heart and radiated out like sunlight. He didnât realize he was actually exuding that light until Crowley broke the mood by squinting a bit, to which Aziraphale squeaked in embarrassment.
âSorryâŚâ
âDonât be,â Crowley said, barely biting back the grin. Then, he coughed. âAnyway, erm⌠thatâs me, then.â
Right, which meant it was his turn now. Knowing how Crowley felt about him at least took some of the unfathomable terror out of putting himself on the line, perhaps to be scorned or rejected, so Aziraphale took a deep, bolstering breath.
âI⌠I donât know when I first really knew it,â he confessed. âQuite early. I felt connected to you, as well. How could we not be? The only two ethereal beingsââ
âOccult.â
ââethereal beings, running around with the humans at all their biggest happenings. You were always there, I couldnât seem to shake you, and it wasnât long before I truly didnât want to. It was comforting, you know. Just⌠just knowing there was someone else down here who⌠I donât know, understood.â
Aziraphale had had human friends in his long life, of course, and very dear little things they were. But there was no use pretending it was ever the same. It couldnât have been, those fragile creatures who lived and died in the blink of an eye.
Not like Crowley. Steadfast, stalwart, fickle and ever-changing Crowley, who shed his look like he shed his skin and yet was always exactly the same underneath. And when Aziraphale needed him, really needed a chat or a rescue, it was always Crowley who was there.
Aziraphale swallowed. âI started hoping Iâd see you around, got worried sometimes when I didnât. And I know, my dear, I know I behaved simply awfully sometimes, the things I said to you, butâ but I do hope you know⌠it was only ever to play the charade. I never, never counted myself above you. I never thought I was holierââ
âGo on, you know you did.â
âAlright, but only by a matter of definition, and not by character. I donât know when precisely I began to think of it as love. By the time the word came to mind, the feeling had already been there too long to tell.â Bracing his courage, Aziraphale took Crowleyâs free hand in his own. âAnd I can say it now, too. And I do love you, Crowley. It was devilishly tricky to hide it sometimes, and I do wish I hadnât hid it so well from you, but there it is.â
Crowley exhaled, cheeks turning a delightful pink that shot straight up into the tips of his ears.
âWell,â he said. âErm⌠yeah, itâ itâs good to hear.â
The two looked at each other, the silence extending for a long moment between them as though both were bracing for the possible coming retribution of such a declaration. Nothing happened, though. No bolt of vengeful lightning, no uproar from Heaven or Hell, no celestial armies at the door to put an end to such things. All was quiet. All was well. If anything, the world felt⌠lighter, brighter, more full of hope than Aziraphale had felt in⌠ever. It was frankly overwhelming. Aziraphale heard himself laugh once, then he was weeping yet again.
âAlright, then,â Crowley said from somewhere beside him, still as patient as the day was long. âReckon thatâs enough for the moment. You should get some rest, angel."
He sniffled and nodded, then froze when Crowley released his hands.
âWait,â he blurted out. âDonât⌠donât go?â
Crowley stilled beside him. âYou want me to stay?â
âWonât you, dear? I just⌠Iâm feeling a tad⌠that is⌠I donât know what Iââ
âItâs alright, angel. Look, why donât you stretch out on the sofa and Iâm going to curl up in the chair. Donât feel like going back outside anyway. Too bloody cold, ask me.â
It was, as always, absurdly transparent, but Aziraphale was no less grateful for it. He had never really been one for âsleepâ, but at the moment he was feeling quite exhausted in a bone-weary way heâd never known before. Both a tremendous weight and an unbelievable lightness battled within him, but the heaviness was starting to win. Aziraphale felt Crowley shift, felt the hands guiding his shoulders down until he was lying on the cozy pillow of the sofa. A blanket fell over him, then hypnotic golden eyes were meeting his.
âJussst ssssleep for a while,â a soft voice hissed in the most soothing tones to wind through Aziraphaleâs heart. âWeâll talk more in the morning. Good night⌠Azzssssiraphale.â
#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#I'm writing them as alloromantic asexual because this is actually just therapy through writing for 29 ^_^#happy pride đ#this will be on ff and AO3 eventually in its longer form#they're just in love ok it's beautiful#fluff#tender sweet and gentle fluff#love confessions
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